| Location | Milton Keynes |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 16/10/2008 |
| Date of Death | 16/10/2008 |
| Visitors | 3,085 since 15/12/2008 |
| Creator |
My name is Megan and I lost my baby boy, Elliot Jack, at 39 weeks + 4 days on 10 October 2008.
I had a reasonably normal pregnancy, a few complications very early on relating to my due date but everything went to plan after about 8 weeks. I saw my consultant on a regular basis due to a cyst that had been found on one of my ovaries at a scan I had at 4 weeks (when they thought I was 12 weeks!) and a history of gestational diabetes in my family.
I woke up on the morning that we found out that Elliot had passed away and had a bath, then realised that I had not felt him move at all that morning which was very unusual as he was very active throughout my pregnancy and the night before, but I put it down to him settling down in time for labour. I still had not felt him move when my husband came home for lunch, but again, we put it down to him settling down.
I decided to have an afternoon nap, and woke at 5pm having still felt no movement. I decided to phone the labour ward as I was starting to worry, and they said to come in so they could check me.
My husband picked me up and I texted my Mum to tell her what was happening but told her it was probably nothing to worry about.
We arrived at the labour ward and they immediately took me into a room and tried to find a heartbeat, which they couldn't. There was a consultant on the ward at the time who they called, she came in and carried out an ultrasound scan. It was at that point that we were told that our baby had passed away.
That moment was the worst moment of my life. I jumped off the bed, still covered in the gel they use for ultrasound scans and broke down in my husband's arms, who was also sobbing. I immediately wanted to know if I could have a caesarean but the consultant said they would recommend against it, but if it was really what I wanted to do then they wouldn't stop me.
My husband and I were left alone while we phoned our families and told them the bad news. We were both distraught but I managed to make the decision to go through a normal delivery. I was told that I would have to take some tablets for the next 2 days to soften my cervix and promote natural labour, and would have to go in on the Monday morning to be induced if labour had not started.
We arrived home and all our families were at our house. I found it so hard to walk in and see everyone as I felt like I had failed them all. They were all very supportive and looking back, I'm so glad that they were all there.
We went back to hospital on the Saturday and Sunday mornings so I could take the tablets, and as labour had still not started, we went in on Monday morning, which was my due date, to be induced.
Firstly, I was given the induction medication where they give you 4 tablets all in one go internally, and then 5 orally, and as those didn't work, I was given a different type of medication where all 5 doses are given internally the next day.
Labour had still not started on the Wednesday morning, so they broke my waters to see if anything happened, which it didn't, so they put me on a drip to start labour at 3.30pm. My contractions started 10 minutes later and were coming 3 minutes apart straight away. I was taking gas and air to help with the pain which did not help at all and only made me sick after every contraction so I decided to have a shot of morphine which also did no good. At 8.30pm I was given an epidural which was the best thing I have ever experienced.
My husband and I slept from 9.30pm until around 1.30am when I was told I was ready to give birth.
I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy at 2.25am on Thursday 16 October 2008. He weighed 9lb 4oz and was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.
The labour ward were fantastic and allowed our families into the ward to see us as soon as Elliot was born, and they spent a few hours with us until I was too tired to stay awake.
We kept Elliot in the room with us overnight and had a naming ceremony for him the next morning by the hospital chaplain. We had decided that we wanted to have a burial for Elliot due to religious reasons and the hospital chaplain agreed to carry out the ceremony for us.
I had a bath and was discharged at 1pm on the Thursday afternoon. It was so hard coming home and seeing all the things that we had bought for Elliot, moses basket, pram etc.
We got straight into organising Elliot's funeral which was arranged for the following Friday, 24 October. The funeral director was fantastic and gave us everything we wanted for our boy.
My husband carried Elliot into the chapel at his funeral and from the chapel to the graveside which was heartbreaking to see but I am still so proud of him as he felt he owed it to our baby.
No cause was ever found for Elliot's death so we have put it down to one of life's mysteries.
We have decided to start trying for Baby Number 2 straight away. A lot of people may think that we are trying to replace Elliot, but this is not the case. We simply want to have what we were denied the first time.
Precious Child by Karen Taylor Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
A Birthday In Heaven - by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play the fool
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel xxx
Special Angel Day - by Carmelle Gross
We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.
Each morning when we awake
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.
Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.
Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.
There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.
If tears would make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
To The Child I'll Never Know - by Gloria Dianne
How can I say Good Bye
When I never said Hello,
Why does my heart grieve
For the child I'll never know?
You were a part of me
For just a little while.
I grieve because I'll never see
The magic in your smile.
I grieve for all the unsaid words
That you will never say.
I grieve that I will never see
You happily at play.
I grieve for all the lullabies
That will remain unsung.
I grieve because I'll never see
Your face gleaming like the sun.
I grieve because you will never know
The comfort of my touch.
I grieve because you will never know
That you were loved so much.
I grieve for all the tomorrows
That will never be.
I grieve because God chose
To take you back from me.
You live among the Angels now
Your earthly mission done,
You will be so dearly missed
Good-Bye my little one.
X X
★ ★ Tiny stars, shining bright, it's time for me to say 'Goodnight.' So, close your eyes, and snuggle up tight, I'm wishing you sweet dreams tonight. ★ ★
┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊
┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊
┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ★★ ★
┊ ┊┊ ┊★
┊ ┊┊
┊ ┊┊ ★ Sweet ♥ Dreams ♥ ★ Darling ★
┊ ┊★
┊ ★ God Bless.
┊
★┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊
┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊┊ ┊
★ ★ LOVE ANGIE.X ★ ★
A golden heart stopped beating,
Two smiling eyes at rest,
God broke your familys hearts to prove to them,
He only takes the best.
Sweet dreams beautiful angel.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
2ND DECEMBER 2008
WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST
THROUGHOUT......
��╔══╦══╦══╦══╗���
��╚═╗║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║���
��╔═╝║║║║║║║╚╝║���
��║╔═╣║║║║║╠═╗║���
��║╚═╣╚╝║╚╝╠═╝║���
��╚══╩══╩══╩══╝���
��„������„� �„������„����
�����„� HAPPY �„������„�
�„�����NEW YEAR�����„�
Love Jude.x
2ND DECEMBER 2008
WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST
THROUGHOUT......
��╔══╦══╦══╦══╗���
��╚═╗║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║���
��╔═╝║║║║║║║╚╝║���
��║╔═╣║║║║║╠═╗║���
��║╚═╣╚╝║╚╝╠═╝║���
��╚══╩══╩══╩══╝���
��„������„� �„������„����
�����„� HAPPY �„������„�
�„�����NEW YEAR�����„�
Love Jude.x
I am so sorry for your loss. Elliot is beautiful and looks so perfect. I know what it is like to go through the same experience, to get so close to meeting this baby you have dreamed about meeting for a long time, to have it all taken away from you. I hope Elliot is playing with Olliver somewhere having fun. You are in my thoughts.
All my love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So sorry
So sorry for your loss, Elliot looks like a gorgeous baby. No one could ever judge whether its too soon to try for a baby only u and your partner could decide that. I had a early miscarriage I know it could never compare but I fell pregnant soon after and now have a gorgeous 8 month old. No one ever deserves to go through what u have. Wishing you lots of baby dust and love xx
Using the options below you can add this memorial to your personal garden.
| I am Elliot's ... | |
| Add to Garden: | |
| Notifications: | Text Message |
There have been 211 candles lit for Elliot.
